We feel guilty leaving our children, returning to work, working while child caring, contemplating another child. Guilty for losing it, yelling, attending to one child more than another. Guilty for our handling of a situation, for our former decision making, for our parenting and the list goes on.
Guilt hijacks our care each time we feel bad, feel as if we are injuring our child with what we said or didn’t say, what we did or didn’t do, with our thoughts and our feelings.
When we feel we were wrong, made a mistake, didn’t measure up, we wallow in the negative effect we think our wrongdoing has on our child.
We feel guilty when something doesn’t work out, inadequate when something is not perfect.
Guilt arises purely because we are responsible for another, and because we care.
So guilt is a very normal facet of parenting.
Yet this normal feature is driving too much heartache.
How can we care for our children without being overridden by guilt?
When we disclose our guilt, we mourn over our mistakes, we cry over our choices that did not work out, we shed sadness over the shortfall that did not stack up as we desired.
And then our hardened heart softens.
A soft heart is guaranteed to work as the way in to our children. When all other attempts are failing, a genuine caring outreach of empathy is well known to draw children back closer and melt their defiance.
And so a soft heart must support the lifting of our feelings of guilt over the care of our children.
Can you reconjure a precious time your baby fell asleep upon your shoulder?
The weight of your baby sinks in to your body. She snuggles, utterly vulnerable yet securely safe in the comfort of your arms. The sight of her sleeping beauty melts your heart. The baby smell purifies your being. And in this moment nothing else matters. This is love for your child with an open heart.
Guilt moves when our heart is soft and open in the present.
Let us remember our feelings of guilt are normal. Let us strive to put guilt into perspective, back into balance.
Let’s reframe guilt as an expected side effect of our care.
For a guilt free, super nurturing and nourishing day, please join us for the Gaia Retreat on Saturday 29th June 2019. Spaces are filling up fast!
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Losing energy over looking after your child or children?
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Gaia Retreat on Saturday 29th June 2019. Get-away for the day and receive life-changing positive parenting tools, plant cookery and full luncheon.
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