It’s easy to forget how much our children look up to us. They look to us as role models, to emulate our speech and mannerisms. They look to us from love, and seek our attention, our approval and our love. They want to show us their goodness.
How do we raise our children without them turning out as mini me’s?
How do we nurture their individuality, and pass on our personal, family and collective values?
In the first instance, we must look to ourselves. What is it we want to cultivate and what don’t we want to instill? We must grow in ourselves the self awareness to fuel that which we want to propagate and temper that which we want to dissolve.
We must know ourselves, our tendencies, our triggers, our reactions and our weak spots. And then we must see ourselves, catch in the moment the opportunity to play out a different response, and at the same time let go of the old ways. This is how we transform reactions of chaos to calm and bitterness to love.
Then, we allow, encourage and recognize those qualities, skills and feelings we see in our children as ones we desire them to inherit. So if we see kindness between siblings, we acknowledge and draw attention to this. If we see a special skill in the mastery and a desire to perform in this area, we look at ways to back this.